The Cave
by DoriLiv
Summary: Spike, Angel and Illyria survive the alley fight and go their separate ways. Spike returns to LA and is shocked at what he finds...
1. Chapter 1

"What about the Hyperion?" Willow suggested.

"Angels old digs?" Spike asked, he'd never actually seen the place before.

"That's probably not the best idea." Buffy said, she hadn't spoken to Angel since he joined Wolfram and Hart and even though she acknowledged the fact that he wasn't evil, she wasn't sure of how he felt about them.

"Why not? It's a hotel so its got a lot of room, and Angel still owns it, right? It's the perfect place to set up another academy. Angel and that demon God…"

"Illyria." Spike filled in.

"Right, they can even head it up." Willow finished.

Buffy had to admit it sounded like a good idea but not even Spike had spoken to either Angel or Illyria since the alley scene. Although, if asking him to head up a slayer academy didn't prove she trusted him, nothing would. She looked from Spike to Willow; both clearly thought it was a good idea. "Ok. We can ask him I guess."

---

Willow, Buffy Dawn and Spike arrived at the Hotel later that week. Spike looked at it and scoffed, Angel really didn't do small accommodation. The front doors were looked which was an unexpected barrier for them. They banged on the door a few times but got no reply. It wasn't hard for Buffy to force the door though and they entered the building.

Willow, Buffy and Dawn walked into the lobby but Spike stopped at the entrance. As soon as he had stepped into the building, he was hit with Fred's smell. After all these years he hadn't expected her scent to still be haunting the building. It more than fazed him for a minute, so much so that he failed to notice the lack of Angels scent in the building. As Spike got over the shock of the smell he actually looked at the interior of the hotel, and met another shock. Frantic scribblings lined the walls and floors of the old hotel. The four of them looked round as they walked semi-cautiously around the hotel lobby.

"What is this?" Willow asked focusing on the large pentacle, which had been drawn on the floor near the front desk counter in red pen.

Spike put his fingers to the writing on the wall as he inspected it. He swallowed hard, trying to keep his composure. The hand writing- much as he'd like to deny it- looked so much like Fred's.

Dawn called out to anyone who might be there but got no reply. Spike hushed her and listened intently. He crept up the stairs and the others followed. It seemed they couldn't escape the ramblings, no matter how far they ventured, though some areas where less covered than others. Dawn noticed that hidden in the numeric formulas and random tip-bit phases, a story seemed to emerge and she tried to read as much of it as she could whilst keeping up with the others.

Not far down the tunnel corridors, they came across a rather disturbing room. The door handle had been broken off and there was tape all the way round the doorframe. Whoever put it there seemed to have realised that the tape wouldn't be sufficient in keeping the door closed and nails had been hammered into the door, as well as scraps of wood, which barricaded the door. Someone really didn't want anyone getting into this room, or out, Spike thought as he stepped over furniture, which further obstructed access to the door. The wall around the door had been messily coloured black, giving it a border of roughly 3 inches all the way round, and the words 'lies', 'not real' and other similar phases were repeated at the edges of this. He would have investigated further but a thud, thud, near by caught his attention.

"Did you hear something?" Willow asked looking down the corridor where Spikes attention had been pulled.

The heartbeat sped up slightly, they could hear them.

Spike passed several more rooms on the corridor before stopping at the source of the heartbeat. He slowly opened the door and his knees almost buckled beneath him when he saw who was inside. He had been right, it was Fred.

Fred's expression went from scared to worried to desperately sad in about 0.5 seconds. She put her hands over her head and closed her eyes. "No, no, no." She repeated as she retreated to the furthest corner, tears streaming down her eyes. "You can't be here."

Spike couldn't believe it, Fred was back, and the tosser hadn't even told him! She looked so frail though, so broken, nothing like the strong science chick he remembered.

"Fred, pet." He said softly moving closer to her.

"No!" She cried, forcing herself further into the corner. Spike continued to approach her slowly. "You can't be here. You're NOT real."

"Shh." Spike soothed, now kneeling in front of her. He could see her tear smeared face and distressed eyes and it pained him to see his Fred this way. He cautiously brought his hand up and when she showed little resistance, stroked her hair calmingly.

"I don't want to be left behind." She said between sobs. Spike pulled her into him and continued rubbing her back soothingly as she cried into his shirt.


	2. Chapter 2

**4 months earlier**

"Fred! Fred, wait." Angel called as he chased her down the street. It was obvious to both of them that Angel wouldn't lose Fred unless he wanted to leave; he had vampire speed after all. He let her take the lead anyway.

"Go home, Angel!" She called back to him.

"Fred." He grabbed her arm to stop her walking away and make her face him. "I can't lose you."

"Will you stop?" She pulled her arm from his grip. "This isn't about me. None of this is about me, so stop pretending that it is. I can't be your reason anymore, Angel!" As she spoke she started to push him away from her, frustrated and angry that she had to say these words. Angel held her arms to stop her small hits. She calmed down but was on the verge of crying as she spoke. "You have all these issues and you keep putting all of it on me. You're misplacing your emotions on me, using me as a distraction from what's really wrong and it isn't fair."

They both stared deep into the others eyes, hating that they'd somehow managed to cause each other so much pain. Angel released Fred's arms and she wiped away a few stray tears from her face.

"I love you, Angel, and I wish I could stay, I really do." Her whispered tone became stronger and more authoritarian as she continued. "But I can't. You're lost and me being here is just keeping you distracted from where you're supposed to be."

"I didn't mean-"

"I know. I hope that when you find your way again, there's still room for me here, cos I don't want this to be a permanent move."

"You can't leave." Angel insisted, a hint of anger creeping into his voice.

"I can't stay." She insisted.

"All your stuff's still at the hotel."

Fred rolled her eyes. "I'll pick it up early in the morning, before dawn." She said, hoping he wouldn't be there when she did. She couldn't stand another exit like this.

Angel could only watch as everything he had left in this world left him. He remained where he stood until he couldn't see her anymore then walked round the city going nowhere in particular. He was now truly alone and he began to wonder if any of it was worth it anymore. What did he have left except for an extend lifetime of painful memories?

---

Angel stayed out as long as the sun would allow him and then wondered round the sewers for hours, giving Fred plenty of time to move her stuff out. Despite what she said, he knew she would never return. She'd set up a new life for herself and forget all about her time in L.A. He convinced himself that she didn't care anymore, she saw a chance to escape and forget about everything that had happened and she was taking it. He couldn't blame her, why would she want to stay? He just wished things had turned out differently, maybe if he'd been better to her when she got back…but what was done was done. He could go back to every messy detail and make it right in his mind but it wouldn't change reality.

He walked up from the hotel basement into the lobby. He walked towards the main doors but heard movement behind him. He turned to find Fred standing in the lobby.

"You're still here?" He asked, the possibility that she'd changed her mind quickly grabbed him but then he noticed the fear.

He heard the gun cock. "You took your time." May came into view, gun and eyes never leaving Fred. "Sun's been up for hours."

"What are you doing, May?"

"I didn't want to be the one to do this, Angel. I wanted to let you do it."

Fred whimpered, as May got closer to her.

"Stop playing games!" May shouted at her, clearly annoyed by her behaviour.

"May, leave her. She hasn't done anything."

"She's trying to fool you, Angel. Looks like it's working. Can't you see she's lying?"

"She's not. It's Fred. I can smell that it's her, I can feel it. Illyria is gone." Angel had said these words so many times before; he really didn't see how this time would be any different.

"She's done it before Angel. She made Fred's own parents believe she was her. This is not your friend. This is the thing that killed your friend."

A tear rolled down Fred's face and her breathing was ragged.

"Even if that was true, if she was Illyria, you know I wouldn't let you hurt her."

"God, how far would you go to protect this thing?"

"She is not a thing. She is my friend and I would go all the way to protect her. And believe it or not, I'd be helping you too. She is human, if you kill her you wont be able to live with yourself."

"You're just lying to yourself. Trying to keep her around so you can have your friend back."

"I already lost her anyway. She's only here to get her stuff. So it doesn't make one spot of a difference if you blow her brains out all over my floor cos either way I lost her. I'm telling you this because it's true, so that you don't have to live knowing that you killed an innocent."

Fred's body was shaking and she started to feel hollow at Angel's words.

"I don't believe you." Her words were forceful but Angel could tell she was starting to lean.

"You want proof? Do you want me to prove it?" Angel walked to the main doors. "It makes no difference." He threw the doors open and let in the sun.

Both May and Fred jumped as Angel's body burned. Fred let out a scream and tried to run to him. May pulled her back and she fell to her knees crying as she watched him turn to dust. Fred felt numb and could hardly believe he was really gone. Consumed in her own grief, she didn't notice May drop the gun and leave the hotel sickened.


	3. Chapter 3

Spike sat with Fred as she cried until she eventually fell asleep. He picked her up, rested her on the bed and sat in a chair near by. He'd tried to ask her what had happened but she wasn't having any of it so he'd decided to leave her be for the time being. Buffy and the others had gone to explore more of the hotel, see if they could find anything that might explain this mess. Willow had mentioned the similarity of this and Fred's time in Pylea but Spike doubted it had much relevance.

He heard a male voice coming from down stairs and went to investigate. As he descended the main stairs he saw that the girls had also returned to the lobby and a young guy had joined them.

"Who are you?" Spike inquired, eyeing the boy.

"Delivery boy." He gestured to the bags of what looked like groceries on the lobby floor. "Who are you?"

"Does it matter?" Bloody kid, he made the delivery, what more did he want? "Oh." Spike reached into his pocket. "You want paying."

"Actually, she leaves the money on the counter." He said walking to it, leaving him standing in front of Spike.

Spike looked at the counter and sure enough, the money was there. "Here then." He said putting the money in the boy's hand. "Of you trot."

The boy hesitated. "Is she ok? It's just, usually that door is looked shut but today its clearly been broken into."

Spike looked at the others, unsure of what to make of the kid.

"I'm assuming since she leaves the money on the counter, she doesn't greet you or anything, so if the doors are normally looked, how do you get in?" Buffy asked.

"The garden door." He answered, walking to the door and opening it to show it wasn't locked. "She leaves it open."

"You know a lot, for a delivery boy." Dawn commented.

"I've been delivering groceries here for over three months now. And the girls nice, sometimes worry about her though." He said looking at the writing on the walls.

"Three months? She's been shut away in here for three months?" Willow asked. The thought was horrible.

"She used to open the door and stuff but then she just stopped. I haven't actually seen her for more than two months. Your friends, right?" He asked.

"Yeah, we are. Do you know what happened to her?" Spike asked.

"I only know the rumours. This hotel has some history round here. The guys at the store, down the road," He pointed over his shoulder in a direction that meant nothing to anyone. "They say the girl would never leave the hotel except when she came in the shop to buy stuff. Then she started ordering and hasn't left the place since. Apparently this hotel has some kind of pull on people, the older customers say its possessed or something but I don't believe in that."

Willow realised he was referring to the Thesulac demon that had been in the hotel. That was well and truly gone now though.

"Well its good to know that if someone's in trouble everybody around here will gossip about it but no one actually does anything to help." Buffy said sarcastically.

"The place is on permanent lock down, she doesn't want anyone coming in." He defended. "I gotta get back." He made a quick exit, not wanting to get too involved.

"How does someone who never leaves home get money?" Dawn asked.

Buffy looked at her, she had a point. "Did she say anything to you?" She addressed Spike.

"Nothing. She was really upset. I'll try again when she wakes though." Saying this, Spike realised he wanted to be there with her when she did wake up. "I'm going back upstairs. If you find anything let me know."

"Spike, before you go, any idea where Angel is?" Willow asked.

Spike glanced round the hotel, paying more attention to what his senses told him. "Not a trace of him anywhere. Some bloody knight in shining armour he turned out to be." Spike climbed back up the stairs to Fred's room.

"Knight turned to dust." Dawn muttered, remembering something she'd read on the walls. It couldn't mean that Angel was…could it?

"What?" Buffy asked, not quite hearing her.

"Knight turned to dust." She said again louder. "It was written on the wall. What if it means Angel? Angel turned to dust."

"Dawn, come on. It's just a little phase written by someone who's not all together there. It doesn't mean anything."

"Don't you think Angel dieing could have made her like this?" Dawn asked, sure she was right.

Buffy didn't have an answer for that. And it seemed clear there weren't many reliable answers at the hotel either. "I think we should start hitting the bars and other demon hang outs, their likely to know something about what happened to Angel after the Wolfram and Hart battle." Buffy said taking a step to leave. "And by 'we' I mean me and Willow. Dawn, you stay here with Spike."

She would have protested but there was a lot Dawn wanted to explore at the hotel. She was sure there was more to these ramblings, even if Buffy wasn't.


	4. Chapter 4

Thanks for reviews!

* * *

**5 months earlier**

Angel returned to the hotel, shaken and numb. He threw his keys on the counter and in a zombie like manner walked up to his room. He'd taken his anger out on any demon that crossed his path, as well as the occasional dumpster or building, and now his muscles ached for rest and stillness. He opened the door and Fred jumped to face him. He took in every detail of her, and every one matched Fred, even the critical test, her smell. But still he had to be sure. "Illyria?"

She silently shook her head, not able to form words at that moment. She put her arms around Angel and held him tight. She was finally home and Angel was the first friend she'd seen. Hopefully he could explain what had happened since that thing stole her body-she'd seen the wreckage of the Wolfram and Hart complex.

Angel returned the hug, finally something had gone right. Fred was home and maybe he could find a way to get back to the fight, the mission that had been his life for so long. She was what he had to fight for now, a reason to keep the faith. "She did it." He breathed, silently thanking her for letting Fred live again.

---

Angel spent hours telling Fred what had happened after she died, or didn't, as the case may be. The final battle was the hardest, telling her that Wesley and Gunn had died when he was still having trouble with the fact himself.

"And Spike?" She whispered, still mourning her lost friends.

"He survived, but after the battle we went are separate ways, there was really nothing keeping us together anymore. We didn't stay in contact, I can only assume he told Buffy he was back."

That was about to change, Fred thought to herself. She'd want to talk to Spike-if only to say goodbye.

"We're the only ones left." He tucked her hair behind her ear. "You, me," a small smile played on his lips. "And sometimes Cordy."

Fred frowned. "What?" Out of all her fallen friends, Cordelia was the only one she actually remembered dieing.

"I mean she's not back, not like you anyway." He said stroking her hair back again. He looked at her as if she was the be all and end all, a look that would have made Fred uncomfortable had she been taking note, but as it was, his idolising gaze went unnoticed and the alarm bells lay silent. "She's kind of like our guardian angel though. If we need her, she'll be here. Like now, she thought we couldn't save you; she was here to help me accept that."

As if on cue, Cordelia's voice rang through the hotel, calling Angels name.

"Wait here." He told Fred. "I need to talk to her first."

Angel descended the stairs, dreading what he had to do now. He had to explain to Cordelia what had happened that night, before he got back to find Fred. He had to actually say the words, hear them spoken in his own voice, after that they'd be real.

When he saw her, tears filled her eyes; she already knew.

"I'm so sorry." She cried.

Angel shook his head and took her in his arms. "Hey, it's not your fault. Its not."

Feeling comfort in the arms of someone she loved and, at the moment, loved her, almost made her change her mind. But she couldn't lie to him, not about this. She pulled out of the hug, feeling unworthy. "It is. I didn't know this would happen, I was trying to help. If I had know, if I had any idea-" Her justifications spilled out before she told her crime, as if that small token could cushion her from the fall out.

"Cordy, what are you talking about?"

"I told the stragglers where Connor was. It was me." Her words were whispers that only a vampire could hear.

Angel felt like his insides were being tugged, tied up in knots. This couldn't be right, he couldn't be hearing this.

Cordelia could see the confusion, and worse, the anger, build in Angel's eyes. "They tricked me, Angel. You know-"

"My son is dead!" Angel's thunderous words cut her off.

Cordelia's heart sank. In those sweet months before he was taken, she'd considered Connor as her son. She was sure that in a better world she would have been his mother. She desperately wanted to defend herself but she knew there was nothing she could say.

"Why? Why would you do that?" He demanded. He grabbed her by the neck and pushed her back. The minute he did he realised that there wasn't a cell in his body that wanted to hurt Cordelia and he released her.

"This wasn't supposed to happen. Connor was never supposed to get hurt."

"Get out of my house." Angel snarled with his back to her. He couldn't bear to look at her.

Cordelia knew that staying wasn't going to help any and went back to her spirit plane.

Despite what Angel had said, Fred had followed him out. She stood at the top of the stairs watching the whole scene play out, unnoticed by both until now. Angel looked up at her. She really was all he had left now, the only person in his life that still cared about him, the only person that mattered. There was no way he was losing her, he'd make sure that she was always safe.


	5. Chapter 5

Fred's eyelids fluttered and she woke to the sight of Spike at her side. "You're really here." She said quietly reaching out to him. "You're really real."

"Yeah, luv, I am." Spike said holding her hand in his.

"I thought you were a distant dream." She smiled up at him. She sat up and a sombre tone took her face as she spoke directly to him. "He's gone, Spike. In the world of man, and any other world there may be. He can never come back, ever."

"Who?" Spike asked, although Wesley had come to mind.

"My Angel." She said sweetly. "He was my Angel and I left him." Her words were angry and self-accusing. "What kind of person does that? He needed me and I left him here all alone. And now I'm left, all alone. I was alone then too, it was scorching, suffocating, endless. This time it's all my fault! He would never have left me."

"Hey, now. It's not your fault. Whatever's happened, Fred, you're not to blame, and you are not alone, not any more."

"It is my fault. I deserve to be alone." She insisted. Spike argued the opposite but it only got her more upset and angry. "Stop, stop, you're lying to me! You weren't here, you went away, you'll leave again. You'll go back to wherever you were not caring about this or me." It seemed Fred came to a realisation then, becoming less rambling and more determined. "You should go now. Just leave now before I need you again."

Spike was hesitant to leave; he'd only just managed to start talking to her. "I'm not going anywhere."

"Yes, I want you to go, so just go. Leave me, go!" She stood and ushered him towards the door.

Reluctantly, he left, assuring and insisting of his return as he did.

He found Dawn first, since she was outside the barricaded door not too far away. "What you doing, niblet?" He asked.

"I wanna see what's inside. Has she woken up?" She nodded in the direction of Fred's room.

"Yeah but she threw me out. I think I might know…something. Where Angel is maybe." He'd rather speak to Buffy before telling Dawn he suspected Angel was dust.

"He's dead isn't he?" Dawn said, much to Spike's surprise.

"I think he is. Where's your sister and Red?"

"Local demon hangouts, hopefully coming to the same conclusion. I don't think she's had a good time of it, Spike." She was referring to Fred. "Scorching screams, endlessly dieing, sounds like hell, not that I've had any personal experience."

Spike was shocked at her words, which were pretty reminiscent of what Fred had said. "How'd you know that?"

"The walls are talking, Spike. You just have to know how to read them."

Spike watched her removing the wood from the door. "You need any help with that?"

---

"Vampire champion, ay? No ones heard of him for months. Cleared out most likely." Buffy and Willow found themselves in an underground bar talking to a bulky, but not excessively built, demon.

"Someone most know what happened to him after the battle with Wolfram and Hart."

"Oh yeah, after the battle we know. He and that demon god paroled the city for a while. Fighting the good fight, or whatever." He said rolling his eyes. "But then, nothing. Hey, maybe those lawyers got him."

"Lawyers? As in Wolfram and Hart?" Willow asked.

"Looks like we should have stayed in Rome where they still have a building to interrogate."

"No, not Wolfram and Hart. They have no interest in that vampire anymore. I'm talking about Wolfram and Hart _L.A. branch_. They're the ones with the vested and personal grievances with him. Hey, Benny." He called over his shoulder. "D'you think those lawyers could take out the half-breed and his god?" He chuckled at the question.

"You wanna know about the lawyers? You gotta talk to Andrew Bloomer bout that stuff." A reddish scaly demon on a table behind replied.

How can anything like that be called Benny, Buffy wondered. "Look, Will, someone else wants to talk." Buffy walked over to his table, Willow following. "Who's Andrew Bloomer and where do I find him?"

Benny sat back smug in his seat. "Not sure if I remember that." He rubbed his chin, pretending to think. He obviously wanted paying.

Buffy leaned over his table and pinned him at the neck. "I'm sorry, apparently you didn't understand me. Where is Andrew Bloomer?" She spoke slowly and clearly.

Benny struggled against her but he was weak. "Ugh, god! Fine, Rox training gym!"

Buffy let him go. "You better hope he is."

Benny rubbed his neck. "God, man. Gees."

Buffy rolled her eyes and left to find what she hoped was a lead.

---

Spike pulled away the last barricade and kicked in the weak door.

"Whoa." Dawn said, the first to see what was inside.

The room had a musky smell, and every inch of it was covered in photographs. Everywhere they turned they saw the faces of Angel, Cordelia, Fred, Wesley, Gunn, Lorne and even Doyle.

"This is more than creepy." Dawn said, feeling the heartache this room seemed to scream. Spike sighed, obviously Fred didn't want any evidence of Angel Investigations, having resorted to denying the whole thing, but aside from that, the room revealed nothing of what happed to Fred and Angel since he left.

---

Buffy and Willow walked into the training hall. It was the kind of place she would use to train, herself. She scanned the occupants, all of which were human, but, unfortunately, they weren't exactly wearing nametags, so she approached the guy closest to them.

"Pretty nice set-up you got here." She said.

"You here to train?" Straight to the point.

"Actually, were looking for someone, thought you might be able to help."

"State a name, girl."

"Andrew Bloomer."

"I meant your name."

"Oh." Buffy felt kind of stupid then, but wasn't about to let it show. "Well, you already know who I'm looking for so why don't you just tell me if he's here or not?"

"Who are you, coming in here asking all these questions?"

Willow knew this could go on for a while so decided to intervene. "She's the slayer, and we really just want to talk to Andrew Bloomer."

"Bloomer." He called out without taking his eyes of them. "She's here."


	6. Chapter 6

**5 months earlier**

Angel chased after Illyria in an attempt to stop her. Although the outcome was desired, getting Fred back, the means were not what he wanted. Illyria had been more than willing to help give Fred her life back recently, whether it was guilt or just not wanting to be in this world anymore, Angel wasn't sure. They knew of one sure way to get Fred back, but that involved hurting others, and so far both Illyria and Angel weren't prepared to go down that road. This latest confrontation with May, however, seemed to have changed that. Despite how much he didn't want to, Angel now had to try and convince Illyria not to bring Fred back, not until they found a way that didn't involve a sacrifice at least.

Illyria scaled the buildings in an attempt to lose Angel but he was a vampire who was used to taking the rooftop route. He caught up to her but Illyria didn't want him in the way. She knew, ultimately, this was what he wanted, and she couldn't stand to be in this vile world any longer. She turned round sharply, catching Angel by surprise. She hoisted him up by his shirt and spun him over the side of the roof before he had a chance to speak. She didn't want to hurt him but it was necessary. The fall wouldn't cause too much trouble for him, being a vampire, but it would hopefully get him of her trail.

Angel wobbled slightly as he got up. He looked up to the building's roof fully intending to go right on after Illyria had his cell not decided to ring at that moment.

"Yeah." Angel grunted into the phone, still in pain. This was soon forgotten, though, as he heard what the caller had to say. "I'm on my way."

He hadn't gotten to far from the hotel so it didn't take him long to pick up the car. He drove recklessly, uncaring of the laws and, at the time, other drivers. His son was in danger, that's all he needed to know.

---

Illyria made her way to the magic shop in no time at all. The door was looked and the lights were out but she banged on it anyway. Causing damage to the door wasn't a problem; she would have to knock it down if the little man didn't answer anyway. Instead of the door, the shopkeeper appeared at an above window. "What?" He demanded, clearly annoyed at being woken up so late in the night.

"I require your assistance." She called back.

"Oh, its you." The man grumbled, closing the window and making his way down to the shop. He unlocked the door and let Illyria in.

"You were asleep?"

"Yes, see, humans sleep during the night, unlike vampires."

"You run a magic shop, many of your potential clients would come by during the night."

"Did you come here to up my profits or was there actually a reason?"

"I need you to prepare the spell."

"Oh, really? Where's that vampire?" He asked knowing that they had previously decided against the spell, on account of all the innocents who would get hurt.

"You have shown your less than favourable opinion of vampires on numerous occasions, including this very night. Make the spell." She was no longer asking, and the shopkeeper wasn't in the mood to argue the point.

---

Angel could see Connors house, as well as the unmistakeable cars of the stragglers. He also saw Connors car pull out of the driveway. He was almost there, so close to his son, but a stragglers car sped out in front of Connors, causing a fireball reaction as the two cars collided. Apparently, torturing Angel was more important than even their own lives.

---

"They're telling me something." The shopkeeper was sitting in the middle of ritualistic symbols as he prepared for the spell. "Looks like you're in luck." Illyria cocked her head and looked at him. "Someone's about to die, someone, they tell me, who is close to your vampire. He can replace them as the sacrifice, if we get the timing right. A life that shouldn't have been for a life that shouldn't have been taken."

"Do it." Illyria was growing impatient.

---

Angel ran to his son's car, which was still engulfed in flames. He called his name as he approached. Connor was unconscious but seemed relatively unscarred. He pulled him out of the wreckage and laid him on the ground, still calling his name. The other straggler car had vacated, leaving the driver of the other car behind and presumably to die. Angel put his fingers to Connors neck but couldn't feel a heartbeat, listened but couldn't hear one. He continued calling his name, willing him to wake up as he began to fill with dread. People from neighbouring houses started to come out to see what was going on. Angel shook Connor but his son just wouldn't wake up, and he felt empty and colder then he ever had before.

---

Illyria felt her body heat. She could no longer see the little man but his chanting echoed loudly in her ears. She felt as if she was being pulled, which was most likely the case. As the chanting grew louder and drew to its end, she collapsed to the floor. The shopkeeper watched as her body convulsed slightly, it seemed to have worked. The girl looked up at him confused.

"Its ok. Don't be afraid. You're back, in L.A." He reassured her.

She looked around unsure. Her eyes looked tired and she was slowly getting to her feet.

"Angels at the hotel, you know it, right? The Hyperion?"

Fred gave a small nod.

"Right, you should go there then. I can't help you anymore then I already have."


	7. Chapter 7

**Regular updates will resume now that I've pretty much finished college. Thinking of maybe doing a sequel if this story goes well. Any thoughts?**

Fred came out of the room, checking the coast was clear. She'd started to feel hungry and wanted to make her way to the kitchen without bumping into Spike and his friends. Walking the corridors, she soon found the room she'd concealed; now with its door wide open. She paused. The room had been looked up for some time now; she didn't make a point of keeping track of time. She knew she'd been alone for four months now and that was all. She took slow steps towards the room. Spike was back; there was no denying it now. Still, she'd convinced herself what was in that room could only cause her pain and that was hard to overcome. She stopped at the doorway and stared at the pictures-her life since meeting Angel and the others. Even as tears for her lost friends graced her cheeks, she felt compelled to walk into the room, to surround herself with her past. Letting herself go, she turned in a circle, taking in all the pictures had to give. She managed a smile, then a laugh as the pictures brought back memories of when they'd been taken. Spike was back. It was real, and, for the most part, it was wonderful. She continued circling as she laughed and cried all at once.

---

Andrew Bloomer was a well-built, slightly tanned man. It also seemed he'd been expecting them. "So, you're the slayer then, heard some about you. Names Bloomer."

"Buffy, Willow. You worked for Wolfram and Hart?" Buffy cut to the chase.

"Not in my life. After the L.A. branch fell, though, I pretended to work with what was left." He answered.

"What was left?"

"Yeah, most of the employees either died when the building came down, during the battle or left soon after. Some were dealt with by the Senior Partners, and don't ask me what that means cos all anyone knows is they were taken by them. Only a few stragglers stayed in the city, and they were after Angel, who I know you know by the way."

"Brownie points for you." Buffy said sarcastically. Bloomer was, however, starting to sound like one of the good guys.

"Why were you with them?" Willow asked.

"Angel needed someone on the inside to tell him what they were up to. And here's me, fighting vamps with my street crew, of course I wanted to help rid my city of the worst vamp in history. That's what we made them think anyway."

"Do you know were we can find them? Or if they're the reason Angel's gone AWOL?"

"The stragglers are dead. Every one of them." He knew they would ask so went into how. "Some months back I called Angel and told him that the stragglers were going after some kid. Kid died. Over the next month or so, Angel found and killed what was left of the stragglers. Don't know what happened to him after that. Stragglers were gone, my part was done."

---

Spike sat on the bed in the room that had been Fred's when she first came back from Pylea and then again when she was given her life back. Fred sat in a comfy chair not far away and Dawn had joined Spike on the bed. Fred had been coherent for a while now, but remnants of her trauma still remained. Introduce her to a new room and her eyes would dart around it for a good few minutes, casing the place. She sat in a way that made her seem smaller than she actually was, as if not wanting to draw attention to her existence. Sharp and sudden sounds or movements still made her jump slightly and she preferred things to be quiet and still. Both Dawn and Spike catered to this, talking in not necessarily lowered, but softened tones. Still, Fred told them what had happened to her, at least the parts that she knew and understood. Angel had explained to her that Illyria had agreed to give her life for Fred's. He couldn't explain how she'd managed it without hurting anyone else though. And the shopkeeper hadn't been too helpful when she had gone back to ask him about it either. Angel also refused to speak of Cordelia. Angel had stopped her questions by explaining Connor to her though. Angel's miracle son. The son he'd ripped from everyone's memories. Fred could see that Angel had lost his son possibly as a direct result of the actions of the woman he loved. She also realised that pushing him about the subject wouldn't help. Everything else though, she lay bare, hoping that once she'd told the story she could move away from it and continue her life.

"I realise this doesn't seem that important, but I'm curious, where have you been getting money to buy stuff?" Dawn asked.

Spike sighed, but was a little curious himself.

"There was only one person who knew I was still here. And that was May." Fred filled them in on what she knew about May. Ultimately a good person who thought Illyria was evil. Fred could only assume she had been the one leaving money at the hotel for her. Guilt most likely. She told them May had been the one who interrupted her attempt to leave- a confrontation resulting in Angel's death.

"Why'd you decide to leave?" Spike asked.

"He smothered me." Spike looked at her sharply. "Not literally. But, everywhere I went, everything I did, he'd want to know about it. And, fair enough he knew of two different groups of people who had cause to kill me, but he was over the top. And I wasn't helping him. He killed some people." She said the last part sheepishly, looking up at Spike to see his reaction. He just waited fro her to continue. "They used to work for Wolfram and Hart. They killed Connor. I let him do it, too. Told myself that they were bad people, and they were, they really were. I shouldn't have stood by and watched him go down that road though, I should have done something."


	8. Chapter 8

**5 months earlier**

Cordelia didn't like the idea.

"We can not risk hundreds, thousands of lives." The higher authority insisted.

"I can't risk Connor."

"It would be no risk. We have someone ready to protect Connor if Angel does not do it himself. Connor need not even know about any of this."

She was reluctant, but the higher authority was right. She'd seen how determined Angel was too get Fred back, and she couldn't let innocents die because of it. She'd tried to talk to Angel, but he hadn't understood what she was trying to tell him. He thought she didn't believe Fred could be saved when really she was just trying to stop him from making the mistake of brining her back. The higher authorities had shown her the destruction that would follow. She bowed her head in defeat and suddenly she was back on the physical plane. She picked up the phone, which they'd handily placed her near, and called the number they had given her. Even as she dialled, she felt like a traitor. She was calling the enemy to give them the location of their most envied target, what else was she but a traitor?

---

May's words echoed in Illyria's ears.

"You don't belong here. This is not your world."

"But I am here all the same. I am adapting."

"Maybe you can someday, somehow, _adapt_ to this world, but it won't make a difference. You will always be a demon. Pure evil with nothing but destruction in your wiring." Part of May couldn't believe she was even arguing with this thing. She'd come with the sole intention of killing it and know, what, she was asking its permission? There was no reason to be trying to convince it it needed to die, she should just do it. But, the other part reminded her that, although a vampire, Angel was a soldier in the good fight, and he'd taken Illyria as a team member. After meeting him, she decided it would be better for all involved if she could show Angel Illyria's true colours. So she had put of the kill to try and persuade Angel it needed to be done, and hopefully he could do it himself.

"I am not evil. I work with Angel, am loyal to him as my leader. I have aided this world and it's defenceless on many occasions. Being demon is of little matter."

"Well its good your loyal to Angel, just a shame you killed his friend in the process of clawing yourself back into a world where you don't matter." For the few months she had been there, May had found herself in countless arguments of similar nature with Illyria and/or Angel. But Angel refused to see how dangerous Illyria could be.

"The shell, Fred, I can see know it was unfortunate. But I am doing good in this world. Angel has accepted that." Good and evil were once insignificant to Illyria but a lot had changed in her time with Angel and his team, she had changed. She was now struggling to be of some worth in this world, to sever a purpose that could overshadow the shells former inhabitant. Even though Fred meant little to her, she meant a great deal to Wesley and Angel, and she felt this was important.

"Angel hasn't accepted anything. He doesn't want you here. Can't you see that? He's desperate to get Fred back, to have her instead of you."

"And I've accepted that."

"Then why are you still here? Why haven't you given yourself for Fred? You know how."

"That's not what Angel wants." Illyria had agreed to give up the shell if Fred were to come back. Now she and Angel were trying to find a way to do it without the cost of lives, besides hers of course. Illyria had once craved to come back to the world, that's why she'd been sent to the lab. When she had been resurrected, she wished to hang on to her life, albeit not what she had expected. But now, although she didn't particularly want to die, she wasn't against it either. She was lost here.

"What Angel wants is Fred back. This isn't your world; it's not even your body. You stole this body, you stole this life. You're only here so that Angel can put Fred back in her rightful place. You and him are not friends, remember that. No matter how long you work together, no matter how many times he saves you or protects you, he will always give you up in a second if it meant getting her back." To be honest, May didn't care that much about Fred. She felt bad that she had died, that her life was taken so this monster could live instead, but there wasn't anything she could do about that now. She was trying to make Illyria angry, trying to make her see that she should not be here. If she detangled herself from Angel, May would be able to kill her without worrying about what Angel would do. By the reactions she was getting, Illyria may even do it herself. "There is nothing you could do to make up for her death, if that's what your thinking. You wont be able to remove that stain because dead is dead and that doesn't change."

At that moment, Angel was drawn out of his room. He'd been able to hear them for a while but was trying to ignore it; all he got were raised voices, no words. Unfortunately, they'd been at it for some time and didn't seem to be coming to an end, so he felt it necessary to show his face. He was about to state his annoyance but Illyria spoke first.

"To hell with the world, Angel." She quoted his words back to him, leaving the hotel.

Angel hadn't been expecting that. What he thought was just another petty, meaningless fight obviously wasn't. "What did you say to her?" He asked May running down the stairs.

"To hell with the world? Doesn't really sound like the words of a hero."

Angel ignored May's comment and went after Illyria instead. He was pretty sure he knew what she was doing, trying to bring Fred back. Quoting the words he had spoken at the deeper well was her way of saying 'you want this'.

---

Cordelia had watched the whole event from the higher plane. She was initially numb with shock. Connor was dead. Connor was dead because of what she had done. Connor was dead and the higher authorities knew it would happen. Connor was dead because they'd manipulated her to put him in danger, and she'd let them. But she couldn't understand it, why would they do that? Why would they want Connor dead? And why would they send her there under the pretence that she was to stop Angel brining Fred back? Then she felt it. It was strange. More than hearing, she could feel the words spoken by the higher authorities, as if they were speaking from within her.

"Connor was spawned from two vampires, two beings of evil. He could not be allowed to live and present danger for us. You were sent back to serve a higher purpose of good. Stopping Angel and his plans to bring back Fred was one objective, but we also had to eliminate the pending threat posed by Connor." Cordelia thought of the images of destruction that the high authorities had claimed had resulted from Fred's return. "They were fake. But the situation was still potentially catastrophic. If Angel let all those people suffer and die, the demons would be given the chance to take the upper hand. We could not let that happen."

"Your sick." Cordelia hissed. "After everything we've done for you, everything we've been though, how could you use me like this?"

"It was part of a greater purpose, something which, since you are a higher being, you have to hold most important."

"If this is your vision of what's important, I don't want any part of it. I want you to send be back. I have to be with Angel, I have to explain." No more words were spoken, but Cordelia felt a tug as they sent her back to the Hyperion.


	9. Chapter 9

"When Illyria took my body, my soul wasn't…gone. At least, not in the way everyone thought it was." Fred spoke quietly. "It was…stuck. Or not, I guess. It seemed like hell, maybe it did…pass on. There was scorching pain, it was horrible." Fred frowned at the memory. "Everything was so loud, I screamed for help. I could feel my body burning, my insides felt like they were being pulled and twisted in countless directions. But I never got the release of their final break. It was like dieing endlessly, alone. I wanted to be rescued but no one came. I couldn't tell how long I was there, felt like forever."

Spike felt sick. They'd thought Fred had gone to a 'better place' when in fact she was enduring horrendous torture.

"Illyria and Angel fell back into the Angel Investigations thing after the battle, except not so business like. One night they saved this lady. She was the one who told Angel I was in pain. She was, I don't know, some sort of Seer or something. That's when Angel decided to try and get me back."

"And it worked. You're back." Spike glanced round the room. "I'm not sure there's much left here, pet. What do you want to do now?" It was a waited question, but one that needed an answer. Spike wasn't sure what Fred would do now that they'd broken her reclusive life. He knew he'd like her to come back to Rome with them, but wasn't going to push it on her. If she were to go to Rome, it would be almost impossible for her to avoid the supernatural life and after everything she'd been through, Spike thought she might want to make a fresh break from all of it. So she might prefer to go home to her parents. Alternatively, if she decided she wanted to stay in L.A., in the hotel, Spike was very willing to move back to the city.

Before Fred could answer, they heard Buffy and Willow return downstairs. Fred, Spike and Dawn went down to meet them and they filled each other in on what had happened. Buffy felt incomplete when Angel's death was undoubtedly confirmed. It was as if she'd lost a part of herself, which, in a way, was true. Angel had been a huge part of her life for a long time and the thought of him not being in the world anymore felt wrong. She kept her composure though, the slightly hollow feeling was something that would eventually be filled again, she hoped. Again, the question of what Fred planned to do next came up.

"I feel kinda tied to this place." Fred said looking around the place she had called home for several years. "I wouldn't want to leave it. I don't think I'm done yet either. I don't know, I want to try and set up base, so to speak. Help the helpless like we used to. Anything as long as I'm doing something…good."

"Really? Then I guess we have a proposition for you." Willow said.

Spike looked at her confused. Then he remembered the reason they'd returned to L.A. in the first place. "The slayer academy?"

"Right, I mean, if you want to, since I guess you kind of own the building."

Fred still looked slightly confused, unsure of what they were asking her.

"We want to set up a slayer academy here." Buffy clarified. "A place where slayers can train and learn about what we do. You wouldn't have to do much unless, of course, you wanted to be more involved. Many of them would be staying here though."

Fred was unsure. She didn't think she was ready to be surrounded by people all the time. She looked passed it though. She was being given an opportunity to contribute and she was going to take it. If it got too much she could always find solace in her room for a while. Without giving herself chance to change her mind, Fred accepted the offer.

"I think…we might need to…redecorate first though." She said looking around, a slight smile on her lips.

"Well, yeah. We'll stay here, if that's ok with you, and fix the place up a bit and get everything set up. Once we're satisfied everything's running smoothly, it'll be yours." Willow said. "But first, dinner?"

"Thank God, I'm staving." Dawn welcomed the suggestion.

Although smiling, Fred was nervous as the others made moves to leave the hotel. She'd looked herself away for a long time and all of a sudden the outside world felt like the scariest place imaginable. She wanted to go though, and that was half the battle fought.

Spike wrapped an arm around Fred's shoulders and whispered softly to her, "Its ok."

Fred smiled up at him. Wrapped in Spikes arms, she felt safe and she took her first steps out of the hotel.


End file.
